DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
1. What is it?
Domestic violence can take many forms, such as emotional, physical or sexual abuse and can happen once in a while or very frequently. It includes behaviors such as name-calling or put-downs, isolation from family or friends, withholding of money, and actual or threatened physical violence and harm or sexual assault. Domestic violence can include partner violence, family violence, spouse abuse, child abuse, battering and partner beating.
2. Why might it develop?
Perpetrators of domestic violence have often been victims of violence in their family of origin. From their upbringing, violent men may learn to express most emotions, even love and fear through aggressive behaviour. Violent partners express their own sense of powerlessness through controlling their partner's life in as many areas as possible. Women who enter into relationships with violent men are often initially unaware of their partner's aggressive behaviour. Their sense of self may be damaged before entry into the relationship and is further eroded from the violence, making it very difficult for them to break the cycle.
3. What is the impact on you and the people around you?
Often victims of domestic violence become very apt at hiding their problem. In fact, they often go to great lengths to defend or protect the perpetrator. Victims may feel shame associated with their treatment and may blame themselves for the violence occurring. People around you may suspect you are in an abusive relationship but be unsure how to approach the issue with you. They may be afraid to offer help should you take offense or withdraw further from them. The impact on children growing up in domestically violent households can be devastating and their emotional distress may become apparent in such things as: anxiety, depression, behaviour, relationships, lowered school performance, difficulty in concentrating etc.
4. Some tips on how to handle it.
Here are some suggestions on how to deal with domestic violence:
- Share what is happening to you with someone you can trust.
- If you have suffered physical harm go to the hospital with a friend to be checked for injuries. Be aware that you can report the assault to police if you choose to - the LAW is there to protect you.
- Be aware that you can get a protective order to prevent further harassment by the abuser.
- Plan safe strategies for leaving the abuse relationship. Never follow
a plan that you believe will put you at further risk. Inform a trusted
person of your plans.