Child Behaviour Problems
1. What is it?
Most children are difficult to manage at some time during their development. For some parents it's the 'terrible twos', the defiant school aged child or the over-active 8-10 year old. All children like to test the boundaries their parents set through displaying difficult behaviour. If your child is experiencing the following difficulties over an extended period of time and across different settings such a school, home and with peers, then it is possible that your child has a behaviour problem. This may be characterized by poor school performance, difficulty paying attention, non completion of projects or tasks, not following directions, difficulty sitting still for even short periods of time and impulsive behaviour.
2. Why might it develop?
A child may develop behaviour problems for a number of reasons. One reason may be as result a mismatch between child temperament and parenting style mismatch. For example, a very strong willed child may become a challenge for the type of parent who finds it very difficult to set limits. Child behaviour problems may also develop from inconsistent parenting. For example, the child's father may punish one type of behaviour that goes unnoticed by the child's mother. A child is more likely to act out when responding to a conflicting message. Children may also develop behaviour problems in response to learning, physical or emotional delays in their development. Essentially, by acting out children are trying to tell those around them that not everything is okay.
3. What is the impact on you and the people around you?
A child with behaviour problems can impact on relationship and family functioning. Often marital conflict can develop through disagreements in how to handle challenging children. In addition, much attention is usually focused on the acting out child, leaving siblings sometimes feeling neglected. A child with behaviour problems can impact on family social functioning, in that the parents feel unable to take their child anywhere due to fear of embarrassment at inability to control them. Eventually the acting out child's schoolwork and peer friendships may also suffer.
4. Some tips on how to handle it?
Here are some suggestions on how to deal with child behaviour problems:
- Ensure that there is structure in your child's environment (e.g.; routines and consistency in parenting) as well as limits on acceptable behaviour.
- Make sure you and your partner agree upon and stick to consequences for undesirable behaviour.
- Make sure you spend some 'special time' with your child each day, regardless of how they behave so you can strengthen your relationship with them. Never take this time away as a punishment.
- Separate the "challenging behaviour from the child", so that the child clearly knows that he/she is loved, but that the behaviour is unacceptable.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends, family, school
or local childhood resource center if you begin to feel overwhelmed
by your child's behaviour. No matter how bad it may get, do not become
physically or emotionally violent towards your child.